THE CURRENT FALLEN ANGELS

Not a list of everyone/thing who we have lost throughout the year, but rather those whose (sometimes bodily) downfall fills us with a little sense of humor or whimsical joie de vivre.

• The career of Emiliano Rodolfo "Chuggaaconroy" Rosales-Birou -- [CANCELLED DUE TO FOOT FETISH]
• Kwik Trip's "bagged milk" -- [DISCONTINUED]
• Toby Keith Covel
• Joseph Isadore Lieberman
• Orenthal James "The Juice" Simpson
• A portion of Robert Francis Kennedy Jr.'s brain -- [CONSUMED BY BRAIN WORM, ALSO DEAD]
• George Marshall Cooper Sr. -- [YOUNG SHELDON'S DEAD FATHER; FICTIONAL]
• Sayyid Ebrahim Raisolsadati -- [PRESIDENT OF IRAN]
• Red Lobster Hospitality, LLC -- [FILED FOR BANKRUPTCY]
• Intellivision -- [BRAND AND LIBRARY OF GAMES ACQUIRED BY ATARI]
• Morgan Valentine Spurlock -- [THE "SUPERSIZE ME" MAN]
• Kabosu -- [DOGE; GENUINELY SAD]
• The marriage of Billy Ray Cyrus and someone named "Firehose" -- [CORRECTION: HER NAME IS "FIREROSE"]
• Donald McNichol Sutherland CC
• The career of Herschel "Guy" Beahm IV, AKA Dr. Disrespect -- [CANCELLED FOR UMPTEENTH TIME DUE TO PREDATORY BEHAVIORS]
• Milton Teagle "Richard" Simmons -- [THE FITNESS PERSONALITY]
• The upper portion of Donald John Trump's right ear -- [PIERCED BY BULLET]
• George Robert "Bob" Newart
• Louis Carl "Lou" Dobbs
• Joseph Robinette Biden, Jr.'s prospects for a second presidential term
• The fianancial viability of the Harold and the Purple Crayon film
• Jack Peter Karlson -- [THE "SUCCULENT CHINESE MEAL" MAN]
• Big Lots Stores, Inc. -- [FILED FOR BANKRUPTCY]
• The credibility of Ellen of The Ellen Show -- [TARNISHED ONCE AGAIN]
• Liam James Payne
• TGI Fridays Franchisor, LLC -- [FILED FOR BANKRUPTCY]
• The "Kum & Go" brand -- [ICONIC IOWA CONVENIENCE STORE CHAIN -- TO BE REBRANDED BY NEW PARENT COMPANY]