THE CURRENT FALLEN ANGEL & CANDIDATES

Not a list of everyone/thing who we have lost throughout the year, but rather those whose (sometimes bodily) downfall fills us with a little sense of humor or whimsical joie de vivre. Here I do try to keep a list of most prominent deaths/demises throughout the year for future reference, even if an entry is perhaps not best suited to be a "fallen angel." The demise should elicit a "giggle" in some way, or in some cases may be an individual whose death is actually just genuinely sad and deserves a little tribute or acknowledgement. This list may be revised periodically as some entries are determined to be in "poor taste."

2024

• The career of Emiliano Rodolfo "Chuggaaconroy" Rosales-Birou -- [CANCELLED DUE TO FOOT FETISH]
• Kwik Trip's "bagged milk" -- [DISCONTINUED]
• Toby Keith Covel
• Joseph Isadore Lieberman
• Orenthal James "The Juice" Simpson
• Lawrence "Larry the Barfly" Dalrymple -- [CHARACTER ON "THE SIMPSONS"]
• A portion of Robert Francis Kennedy Jr.'s brain -- [CONSUMED BY BRAIN WORM, ALSO DEAD]
• George Marshall Cooper Sr. -- [YOUNG SHELDON'S DEAD FATHER; FICTIONAL]
• Sayyid Ebrahim Raisolsadati -- [PRESIDENT OF IRAN]
• Red Lobster Hospitality, LLC -- [FILED FOR BANKRUPTCY]
• Intellivision -- [BRAND AND LIBRARY OF GAMES ACQUIRED BY ATARI]
• Morgan Valentine Spurlock -- [THE "SUPERSIZE ME" MAN]
• Kabosu -- [DOGE; GENUINELY SAD]
• The marriage of Billy Ray Cyrus and someone named "Firehose" -- [CORRECTION: HER NAME IS "FIREROSE"]
• Donald McNichol Sutherland CC
• The career of Herschel "Guy" Beahm IV, AKA Dr. Disrespect -- [CANCELLED FOR UMPTEENTH TIME DUE TO PREDATORY BEHAVIORS]
• Milton Teagle "Richard" Simmons -- [THE FITNESS PERSONALITY]
• The upper portion of Donald John Trump's right ear -- [PIERCED BY BULLET]
• George Robert "Bob" Newart
• Louis Carl "Lou" Dobbs
• Joseph Robinette Biden, Jr.'s prospects for a second presidential term
• The fianancial viability of the Harold and the Purple Crayon film
• Jack Peter Karlson -- [THE "SUCCULENT CHINESE MEAL" MAN]
• The hairbrained schemes and senatorial career of Robert "Bob" Jacobsen Menendez Sr.
• The multiplayer videogame Concord -- [TAKEN OFFLINE BY SONY AFTER APPROXIMATELY TWO WEEKS]
• Big Lots Stores, Inc. -- [FILED FOR BANKRUPTCY]
• The credibility of Ellen of The Ellen Show -- [TARNISHED ONCE AGAIN]
• Liam James Payne
• TGI Fridays Franchisor, LLC -- [FILED FOR BANKRUPTCY]
• The "Kum & Go" brand -- [ICONIC IOWA CONVENIENCE STORE CHAIN -- TO BE REBRANDED BY NEW PARENT COMPANY]
• Brian Robert Thompson -- [UNITEDHEALTHCARE CEO -- ASSASSINATED IN A MAJOR WAY]
• The stability of the $TUAH coin (or whatever it's called) -- [VALUE ERASED AFTER MS. TUAH'S CHEEKY "RUG PULL;" HER STATUS IS UNKNOWN]
• James Earl "Jimmy" Carter Jr.

2025

• One Cybertruck and one Green Beret man -- [EXPLODED IN LAS VEGAS]
• Perry the donkey -- [MINIATURE DONKEY THOUGHT TO HAVE INSPIRED THE CHARACTER IN THE "SHREK" FILMS]
• The premiership of Justin Pierre James Trudeau
• Ownership of Rudolph William Louis "Rudy" Giuliani's Palm Beach condo -- [POSSIBLY FORCED TO SURRENDER IT AFTER BEING SUED FOR $148 MILLION]
• Jean Louis Marie "Jean-Marie" Le Pen
• Edgar Maddison Welch -- [THE "PIZZAGATE" LUNATIC]
• Bill Byrge -- [PLAYED THE "BOBBY" CHARACTER IN THE "ERNEST" FILMS]
• Robert George "Bob" Ueker
• David Keith Lynch
• The stability of the really awesome $TRUMP and $MELANIA coins
• Access to the TikTok platform and other ByteDance-owned services in the United States -- [MADE UNAVAILABLE FOR AROUND 14 HOURS IN A BLATANT AND UNPROFESSIONAL PR MOVE FOR RONALD TRUNKS]
• Vivek Ganapathy Ramaswamy's promised position at the Department of Doge -- [WAS REALIZED TO BE TOO ANNOYING A GUY]
• The Electronic Arts Origin videogame launcher
• The "Le Fishe" Twitch channel
• Watto -- [RETRACTION AS OF MID-MARCH: WATTO STILL ALIVE]
• Robert "Bob" Jacobsen Menendez Sr's. freedom of movement -- [SENTENCED TO 11 YEARS IN THE SLAMMER]
• Charles David "Chuck" Todd's career at NBC
• The parent company of northcentral Wisconsin business The Pool People -- [FILED FOR BANKRUPTCY]
• The MultiVersus videogame
• Addison Mitchell "Mitch" McConnell III -- [TOOK A LITERAL TUMBLE A COUPLE TIMES IN ONE DAY]
• The Funko Fusion videogame -- [DEEMED A COMPLETE COMMERCIAL AND CRITICAL FAILURE]
• 5-8% of the Pentagon's civillian workforce -- [FIRED IN A MAJOR WAY]
• Lester Don Holt's anchorship of NBC Nightly News
• Jo-Ann Stores, LLC -- [REMAINING STORES TO BE LIQUIDATED AND ASSETS TO BE SOLD TO GA GROUP, A PRIVATE EQUITY FIRM]
• Clinton J. Hill -- [SECRET SERVICE AGENT KNOW FOR ACT OF BRAVERY WHEN PRESIDENT JOHN F. KENNEDY WAS ASSASSINATED]
• Eugene Allen Hackman
• Hooters of America, Inc. -- [BANKRUPTCY AND RESTRUCTURING IMMINENT]
• Skype
• The robotic Moon lander spacecraft Athena -- [TOPPLED OVER AND "DIED"]
• F21 OpCo LLC -- [THE "FORVER 21" CLOTHING STORE]
• George Edward Foreman
• 23andMe Holding Co.
• The original "Dewey" character on Malcolm in the Middle -- [RECASTED IN THE REBOOT]
• Brad David Schimel's chances for a seat on the Wisconsin Supreme Court
• Val Edward Kilmer
• 4chan
• Pope Francis
• Probably the Defense Secretarial career of Peter Brian Hegseth
• George Anthony Devolder Santos' freedom of movement
• The Homebrew Channel
• The Giant Bomb and Polygon gaming websites